The Guardian

The Guardian July 26, 2000

Culture and Life

by Rob Gowland

Dear Dr Laura

I am taking the easy way out this week and quoting someone else (at 
least for part of the column!) because I think their piece is rather 
clever. But first some essential background:

Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US talk-show "personality", in the words of the 
Seattle Times a "gabby, anti-gay radio dominatrix with a compulsive 
need to spank her listeners".

And what makes "Dr Laura" (as she likes to be called) worthy of note? The 
Seattle Times again: "When Paramount Studios last year gave famed 
disciplinarian Dr Laura Schlessinger the go-ahead for a TV show, the 
syndicator surely never imagined what would ensue."

And what did ensue? "Coast-to-coast demonstrations. A boycott of Procter & 
Gamble Co, which will advertise on Dr. Laura. Public objections 
within Paramount from its many gay employees."

The reason for all this activism is "Dr Laura's diatribes against 
homosexuality  she has likened it to bestiality, paedophilia and incest, 
and called gays `biological errors'."

Like the Pope, Dr Laura is all for "traditional values" and she too refers 
her listeners to the Bible to back up her simplistic hate message.

The Internet Antifascist reprinted a charming little piece by 
Deborah Mokma in the form of a letter to the good doctor. They did not 
acknowledge a source but it clearly originates in the US.

Any way, here it is:

Dear Dr Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have 
learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as 
many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I 
simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an 
abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific 
laws and how to best follow them. When I burn a bull on the altar as a 
sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 

The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. 
How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for 

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period 
of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I 
tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are 
around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not 
Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated 
to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination 
(Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.I don't 
agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have 
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my 
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can 
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and 

* * *
Fascist Protocols
Yesterday (last week, by the time you read this) a comrade told me how shocked he was when a progressive activist in Sydney informed him that she had "found this really interesting book". So interesting in fact that she had bought several copies for other people. What shocked him was that the "interesting" book was The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a publication which first saw the light of day in Tsarist Russia. That's hardly surprising, for the infamous Protocols was an anti-semitic forgery perpetrated by the Tsarist secret police, the Ochrana. The Ochrana spent a lot of their time fabricating evidence that Jews practised ritual murder and killed Christian children for their blood. They used The Protocols to incite massacres of Jewish villagers in pogroms designed to drive the Jews from the territory of Russia. These anti-Jewish pogroms were carried out by Ochrana-backed terrorist gangs called the Black Hundreds. The Protocols became the bible by which members of the Black Hundreds explained all the ills of the world in terms of an "international Jewish plot" (sound familiar?). When the White counter-revolution and the Intervention by the West failed to crush the Russian Revolution, despite the barbarity with which they killed, flogged and burned out the dreaded "Reds" and those who supported them, the Whites had to flee for their contemptible lives. Sayers and Kahn, in their seminal work The Great Conspiracy Against Soviet Russia, put it thus: "With the debacle of the White armies of Kolchack, Yudenitch, Denikin, Wrangel and Semyonov, the immense archaic structure of Tsarism had undergone its final collapse, scattering far and wide the turbid elements of savagery, barbarism and reaction which it had so long sheltered. "The ruthless adventurers, the decadent aristocrats, the professional terrorists, the bandit soldiery, the dreaded secret police and all the other feudal and antidemocratic forces that had constituted the White Counter-revolution now spilled out of Russia like a muddy, turbulent stream. "Westward, eastward and southward, through Europe and the Far East, into North and South America, it flowed, bringing with it the sadism of the White Guard generals, the pogromist doctrines of the Black Hundreds, the fierce contempt of Tsarism for democracy, the dark hatreds, prejudices and neuroses of old Imperial Russia. "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion ... were now circulated publicly in London and New York, Paris and Buenos Aires, Shanghai and Madrid. "Wherever the White emigres went, they fertilised the soil for the World Counter-revolution Fascism." The Protocols are distributed by the League of Rights in Australia.

Back to index page